Computer Jokes

Closed loop

My husband recently answered his work phone and heard someone start a familiar pitch about upgrading his computer software. A few seconds later the other office line rang and it was another cold... read more

Cross wires

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their internet connection. The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted... read more

Virtual reality

My husband, a computer-systems troubleshooter, was riding with me in my new car one afternoon when I stopped at a red light.
I wanted to stay a safe distance from the crosswalk, but my... read more

Fudging the forecast

I used to work in an Air Force Satellite Control Facility, where we would hold regular status briefings for department heads. On one occasion, a young officer concluded his weather briefing with... read more

The Great Tweet-off: Social Media Edition

Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, YouTube … for every new way we have to connect these days, there’s a joke to be made on the mother of them all: Twitter.

When you’ve got 5 minutes to... read more


I was trying to teach my mother how to use the internet, but at 86 she felt she could carry on perfectly well without it. Determined to prove how good it was, I told her she could Google any... read more

Click to proceed

I’d like the window that says “Are you sure you want to do this? OK/Cancel” to pop up less often on my computer and more in my real life.

Life’s mysteries

Questions on Yahoo that will destroy your faith in humanity:

– “Can I safely look at a picture of the sun?”

– “How can I be sure I’m the real mum of my kid?”
... read more

Security check

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.

“It’s taped under the modem,” I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I... read more

The Great Tweet-off: Autocorrect edition

In an age when smartphones can force us to seem dumber, Twitter has become the favourite forum to vent frustrations:

Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to... read more

Always cover your tracks

I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named “Fireworks and vacuums” so my dog won’t find them.

Internet security

My wife was checking her emails and told me her password was “mickeyminniebatmanrobintomjerryLondon”. I asked her why it needed to be so long.

“Because,” she replied, “I was told it... read more


I got sacked today for downloading games onto my work computer and causing everything to crash,” I told my friend.

“That’s a bit harsh,” he replied.

“They don’t mess about... read more

Had to be there

I often wonder about people who live in tropical destinations. What do their screen savers look like?

This just in…

OMG. President Lincoln has been shot! Wait, whoa, my internet connection is SUH-LOW.