“Where’s The Light?”

“Where’s the light?”

My dad used to ask me that when I was little. It’s one of those questions that parents use to find out how smart their young children are. During my teenage years, my dad jokingly told me that he thought I was going to be dim-witted because I pointed at him whenever he asked me where the light was.

I consider myself to be a “Daddy’s girl.” Dad never spoiled me, but he did buy me nice things – dolls and shoes – for my birthday. I am now 28, and I still live with my parents in Baguio, Philippines. Despite my father’s busy schedule, we still spend time with each other – going to a coffee shop and reading the newspaper, walking around the mall, watching movies, going for a drive in the country. Most people my age would rather go out with their friends than be with their family, but my family has always felt a bit different.

Here in the Philippines, families are often large, and sometimes extended family members all live together. In contrast, our family is small. I have a loving and caring mother, a generous and funny older brother, and a dad – a good provider and guide. He has always shared with my brother and me the values of living an honest life, constantly educating oneself, and praying fervently. These are, he says, stepping stones to success in anything we pursue.

My father did not grow up with a close-knit family like the one he has with us. Dad is from La Union, a rural area approximately 230 kilometres north of the capital Manila, and where most people live off the land, raising and selling poultry and livestock. His father, an artist and street magician, died when he was very young. To make ends meet, his mother went about town and washed laundry in various households. His two older sisters and one older brother got married when they were young and inevitably, their own families became their main priority. Another older brother left for Manila to find work.

When his mother wasn’t working, she spent most of her free time in the market with her friends. My dad found himself alone – denied a happy childhood, devoid of nurturing and love, short of familial bonds.

He felt neglected and often went without the basics in life. When he was in grade school, his mother couldn’t afford to buy him new shoes, so he would walk to school in his bare feet with his slippers in his hand so they wouldn’t wear out.

My father is a self-made man. So many hurdles were placed in his path, but his dream of a better life kept him going. At 14, he began working as a janitor at his high school to support himself. In spite of the demands on his time, he graduated from high school at the top of his class.

Dad loved reading and always looked for opportunities to educate himself. One day, when my father was 16 and out of work, a pastor saw him sitting under a tree engrossed in a book. He approached Dad and asked him why he wasn’t in school. Dad replied that he had no money for college. The kind-hearted pastor saw his desire to study and recommended him to Baguio Colleges (now University of the Cordilleras in Baguio) as a working student. He also gave Dad a job as a janitor at a local church.

Thanks to the pastor, who became something of a father figure, Dad got his Bachelor of Arts degree, then went on to study Law.

Even through college, he battled life’s hardships. Once, his landlord threw him out because he didn’t have money to pay his rent. He walked the streets, carrying his possessions in a box, and ended up sleeping out in the cold at the city’s park. He later stayed with friends for a few days before moving into his own place.

Through all the adversities, Dad studied very hard and persevered. He went on to become a successful lawyer who is known among his colleagues as an honourable man. He wrote a widely read textbook on Philippine law, and is now Dean of the College of Law of the University of the Cordilleras. His achievements in his career overwhelm me, and they motivate me to become successful in my career as a registered nurse.

Looking at my father now, I can see how he was able to overcome so many obstacles. He is by nature a hardworking man, pouring his energy into his career without forgetting his family. He values education – when we were younger, he would tell me and my brother to constantly seek improvement in ourselves through learning.

Most importantly, my dad gave our family a life he didn’t have during his childhood days. He showed his love and support in many ways. He never failed to attend parent-teacher meetings, singing contests, and choral concerts that I was a part of. He put me and my brother through college and still guides us in our chosen careers. He gives words of encouragement and tells me that prayer is the key in achieving any goal.

Like a light, he shines with dignity and respect because of his accomplishments, but his light radiates the brightest for maintaining our family as a cohesive unit with love and faith as its foundation.

There are times when my dad kids around and asks me, using my childhood nickname, “Sasi, where’s the light?”

I just smile, and point at him.