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Punster paradise

Punster paradise
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Are you a word nerd? You’re in the right place. Whether the thesaurus is your friend or foe (your confidante or nemesis), it’s a book to keep on hand (hereabouts or accessible) so you can find a word that’s just right (consummate, first-rate, and dandy!). Plus, etymology is comedy gold, people. Get ready for some wordplay—all puns intended!

Raising the bar

Raising the bar
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A dictionary, an encyclopedia, and a thesaurus walk into a bar. The mixologist takes one look at them and quips, “What is this—a jest, mockery, target practice, repartee, facetiousness, drollery, banter, or a knee-slapper?” Please joke responsibly when drinking (and when not).

 

Going ape

Going ape
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Did you hear the one about the monkey who could read the thesaurus? He was hanging on every word.

Mother tongue

Mother tongue
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What’s another word in the thesaurus for mother? Can’t say. Mum’s the word! Yo Mama!

 

Book him

Book him
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What did the book reviewer say about the thesaurus? Don’t arbitrate, assess, decree, estimate, mediate, reckon with, evaluate, or appraise a book by its cover.

Don’t miss these 12 smart jokes that anyone can remember.

Spoken in jest

Spoken in jest
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What did the clown say to the thesaurus? Put in a good word for me! Is monster a synonym for clown?

Here’s the real reason why everyone is afraid of clowns.

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Best-seller twist

Best-seller twist
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See how easy it is to wreck a good thing? That was a massacre! A bloodbath! Thesaurus-cide! John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath is a beautifully eloquent title. And E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey sounds like poetry compared to that. Did you even recognise The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins? Actually, maybe Ernest Hemingway should have gone with An Adieu to Limbs over A Farewell to Arms? And let’s round out the list with J. R. R. Tolkien’s orbicularly titled The Lord of the Rings.

Movie madness

Movie madness
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Ouch! Way to siphon out all the wit, Thesaurus! Did you recognise your favourite movie lines from Casablanca and Star Wars? How intimidating would Don Corleone have been in The Godfather if he’d consulted a thesaurus? You had me at “don’t use a thesaurus,” Jerry Maguire! Wouldn’t you like to hear Rhett Butler say doodley-squat at the end of Gone with the Wind? Um, yeah, maybe not.

 

Start the day with a pun

Start the day with a pun
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What do lexicographers prefer for breakfast? Synonym rolls. Bah-dum-tiss! That was so punny!

 

Sing-along

Sing-along
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Did you recognise your favourite tunes? Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance—ring a bell? And also, You Can’t Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones. How about some Light My Fire by the Doors? And then there’s Bruce Springsteen with Born to Run. Finally, how much gratitude do we have for the fact that Simon and Garfunkel probably didn’t use a thesaurus when they wrote Bridge Over Troubled Water? That said, some lyrics are confusing just as they are.

Take a look at these popular songs that were almost ruined by their original title.

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Philippines lockdown update:
Please be advised that due to the current lockdown in the Philippines, we hope to have the April print issue available by the middle of July, and the May, June and July issues available by the end of July, but this is dependent on when local lockdown restrictions are lifted. We sincerely apologise for this inconvenience. Thank you and stay safe!
– The Reader’s Digest team