The stomping ground of professional and amateur entertainers alike, Twitter has become a place to hone your comedy chops. Here are a few favourites to follow:

Been invited to a hair-washing party. Can’t think of an excuse. – Milton Jones (@themiltonjones)

If there’s one thing The Very Hungry Caterpillar taught me, it’s that eating too much will one day make you beautiful. – Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian)

Sex is the leading cause of people. – Demetri Martin (@demetrimartin)

I wish people were like internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking. – Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe)

WHY was Mario Kart not called “Mario Speedwagon”? – Megan Amram (@meganamram)

Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she’s overdue? – Conan O’Brien (@conanobrien)

Source: Twitter
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