“One time on a freeway, I saw a woman switch from a very nice business outfit into a leotard. At one point, she was just sitting there in her undergarments.”
Our advice: Change clothes at home—not behind the wheel.
“A woman had her baby in the front seat next to her and was changing the baby’s nappy.” We know there are some superhuman things only mother can do, but that doesn’t mean they should be done while driving.
“I saw a gentleman one time—in a large SUV—and he had a full-size keyboard sitting between the two seats. He was using his right hand to play it while he was going down the road.” Something you can do while driving?
“I’ve seen a lot of people sewing or knitting while they’re driving. And, you know, that takes two hands.” Next thing you know, drivers will start attempting to make Etsy-quality crafts on their commute to work.
“Last week, I had a lady pass me at 110 kms an hour, and I looked down, and her dog—a little Jack Russell terrier—was standing on his back legs and resting his paws on the steering wheel.”
“I saw a woman driving down the road, steering with her elbows, eating a bowl of soup. Now how in the world do you pull that off without spilling?”
“What I see all the time is women steering with their knee, with the makeup mirror in one hand and a brush in the other, putting on eye shadow and blush and speeding. Usually they’re going back and forth across the line, running over and hitting the rumble strips. I blow the horn at them.”
“One guy actually had a paperback book taped to his steering wheel. It would move when he turned the wheel.”
“What I see a lot of times, more with ladies, is they’ll be sitting cross-legged, driving with cruise control. All I can think is, How long is it going to take to get their legs uncrossed and get their foot down to the brake if they need to stop suddenly?”
“The other day, I saw a guy with a cup of coffee between his legs, typing on his laptop computer and trying to drive. We hit a curve, and he wasn’t going with the curve. I had to tap my horn to alert him.”