A Muggle walks into the Hog’s Head Inn...
…with a frog on his shoulder. The barkeep says, “That’s pretty cool, where’d you get it?”
“London,” the frog croaks. “They’ve got millions of ‘em!”
Q. What do you call a wizard with his hand in a thestral’s mouth?
A. A mechanic.
Q. Why does Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?
A. So you’ll never know which side he’s on.