Funny sayings that are definitely worth memorising

Somebody said today that I’m lazy. I nearly answered him.

Life is a bowl of soup, and I’m a fork.

Here are 20 depression memes that may make you feel a little better.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

I finally found a machine at the gym that I like: the vending machine!

This is the least amount of exercise you need to live longer.

I get enough exercise from pushing my luck.

My jeans say eat a salad, but my heart says eat pizza!

Here are 75 corny jokes everyone will laugh at.

My bed and I are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.

Check out these memes about love and marriage that are hilariously accurate.

If the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off of it!

I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who’s going to do it.

Enjoy these 73 short jokes anyone can remember.

When people tell me, “You’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon because I’m a problem solver.