15 dumbest dog breeds that are lovably dopey

While the smartest dog breeds may be popular companions, some experts feel it’s high time for all those goofy, tail-chasing, sweetly affectionate dogs of supposedly lesser intellect to have their moment. “I’m a fan of dumb dogs,” says canine behaviour consultant Lauren Novack. But what are the dumbest dog breeds, and what exactly does it mean to be a dumb dog?

Some experts assess canine intelligence based on how quickly a dog learns human-taught tricks. But Novack maintains that when people claim to want a smart dog, what they most often desire is a dog that’s both motivated to learn and forgiving of our failed attempts at teaching them. Indeed, some dog breeds may not be dumb, just disinterested in performing on command. Others may simply be lazy dog breeds and expert nappers – and who can blame them? In many cases, that disinterest goes hand in hand with the qualities for which they were bred.

Some of the reputedly dopey dog breeds also happen to be among the most loyal dogs and the most calm dog breeds, and if your priority is hours of quality canine cuddle time, one of these supposedly dumb dogs might just be the best choice for your new faithful friend.

What makes these the dumbest dog breeds?

The leading canine intelligence scale, developed in the ’90s by UCLA psychology professor and renowned canine researcher Stanley Coren, author of The Intelligence of Dogs, combines adaptive intelligence (ability to problem-solve and learn from trial and error), instinctive intelligence (ability to do what it was bred for) and obedience and working intelligence (ability to learn human commands). But what this methodology leans most heavily on is observing dogs learning commands. Per Coren, the so-called dumbest dog breeds require the highest number of repetitions per command.

But not all canine cognition experts subscribe to Coren’s rubric. Anya Parks of Boston College’s Canine Cognition Program says that intelligence is increasingly regarded as diverse among individual dogs. Moreover, both Parks and Novack believe it’s impossible to accurately measure canine intelligence using a single set of standardised criteria. “Across breeds, and across individuals, dogs have different strengths and weaknesses,” Novack says.

And while these dumbest dog breeds might be most likely to tank their obedience training, we can promise they’ll still win our doggie-loving hearts.

The Afghan hound has the lowest IQ of all dog breeds, per Coren’s research. But since these hounds are known as independent and strong willed, perhaps they just can’t be bothered to learn commands; what’s in it for them, after all? Afghans would rather spend their time loving on family members, entertaining kids with glamorous hair-flip pyrotechnics and playing well with other pups.

Energetic, playful and open to strangers, your Afghan hound may never master much beyond the easiest dog tricks, but there are plenty of positives, including their luxurious coats. Afghans hardly shed, which might be surprising considering their silky hair requires near-daily grooming.

Ranked by Coren as only slightly less dumb than the Afghan hound, the basenji may not actually be “dumb” so much as not particularly interested in the sort of interactions that obedience training tends to require. One of the quieter dog breeds, the basenji doesn’t bark to get attention. In fact, the basenji doesn’t seem to need that much attention at all, which can be a good thing for some humans.

It may be that independent streak, combined with its fastidious grooming habits, that have led some to describe the basenji as “catlike.” But everyone knows cats aren’t dumb; they simply cannot be bothered to learn tricks for the sole purpose of entertaining humans. Perhaps the basenji ought to be accorded similar latitude?

Lots of people are bullish on bulldog breeds. And that includes the English bulldog, which Coren’s research regards as the third dumbest among dog breeds. Known for its sweet and docile temperament, the English bulldog is among Novack’s favourites. It also happens to be one of the dog breeds least likely to bite.

English bulldogs score low by Coren’s canine intelligence standards, but it may simply be a matter of laziness, a quality for which they are renowned. And while a lazy dog may be less inclined to do the work required to learn new commands, does that really make for a dumb dog? English bulldog lovers might disagree.

While it is a dog that looks like a lion, the chow chow is far from the king of the jungle – or even the dog park. To wit, Coren ranked the chow chow as one of the dumbest dog breeds, adding that, “There is probably furniture out there that is more trainable than chows.”

But according to Coren, one factor to consider when assessing canine intelligence is a dog’s ability to do what it was bred to do. And as it turns out, chow chows are quite adept at that. Unfortunately, however, one of the things chows were originally bred for was to be eaten as food—at least in some countries.

One of the fastest dogs in the world, the borzoi is also known as one of the dumbest dog breeds, per Coren’s rubric. Although the swift borzoi needs a lot of mental stimulation, this shaggy, lanky breed is also notoriously challenging to train. As the American Kennel Club (AKC) puts it, “in their quiet, catlike way, [borzois] can be stubborn, and training is best accomplished with patience, consistency and good humour.”

So while they may not hand over a paw when asked, these dignified pups are also very accomplished at what they were bred for: hunting.

Docile and affectionate with its people, the bloodhound (also called the sleuth hound) does one thing better than any creature on earth: locate missing persons. And yet, the bloodhound comes in at just slightly less dumb than the borzoi, at least using Coren’s standards of canine intelligence. Not coincidentally, both the borzoi and the bloodhound are master hunters, and therein may lie the rub.

Whereas the borzoi leverages its keen sight, the bloodhound makes use of its prodigious sense of smell. In both cases, unless the individual dog is engaged in an actual hunt, these talents and inclinations can make the dog appear distractible. And distractibility does not bode well when it comes to learning commands. But whether it means the bloodhound is actually dumb is something we’ll question. Plus, there’s just something about dogs with big ears that makes us fall in love.

Here are 10 things dogs can smell that humans can’t.

Pekingese dogs tend to lavish affection on their families. Peeks are also well behaved and friendly toward children and strangers, as well as other dogs. But will a Pekingese reliably play fetch with you? Not likely, based on Coren’s methodology, which places this Chinese dog breed among the dumbest dog breeds on the planet.

But Coren’s research also makes room for nuance. Pekingese dogs, which were bred to be lapdogs, are very accomplished at that. And if that makes them dopey, then, do we really want this dog to be smart? It’s also a quality that makes it one of the best dogs for seniors.

Fans of dogs with floppy ears often flock to the sweet-faced beagle. Indeed, those soulful eyes and clownish demeanour help make the beagle a much-loved breed. Conversely, they’re also one of the dog breeds most likely to be found in a shelter. One reason is that the beagle, like its bloodhound cousin, is easily distracted by scents. If allowed off-leash, the risk of separation from its people is high.

Beagles are well known for their stubborn streak, which makes training challenging. And the hard truth is that an untrained dog makes a difficult housemate. The beagle’s tendency to stand on ceremony rather than sitting and staying, as well as its tendency to follow its nose, places it among the so-called dumbest dog breeds. But we don’t fault them for their love of exploring. This happy-go-lucky dog just wants to experience the world.

Here are 15 things dog shelters need you to know.

The mastiff is one of the finest guard dogs, but it doesn’t get there by stealth. The docile but dignified mastiff is one of the world’s largest domesticated dog breeds, and for giant dog breeds, training is a must. Ironically, mastiffs aren’t all that great at learning commands. They do so rather slowly, and even when they do, they’re not particularly consistent when it comes to performing them. That’s why mastiffs are ranked among the dumbest dog breeds, per Coren’s research.

It also raises the question: How is one to live harmoniously with this adorably gigantic, drooly supposed dope? Mastiffs take best to gentle training, and the earlier you can start on that, the better.