I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named “Fireworks and vacuums” so my dog won’t find ...read more
A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm. “Do you make fish cakes? he asked.
“Yes, we do, ...read more
A dog thinks: “The humans offer me food, love and shelter. They must be my gods.”
A cat thinks: “The humans of ...read more
When I told my wife there was a huge spider in the bath, she screamed and said, “Put it outside!”
Now I’ve go ...read more
A dog goes to the post office to send a telegram. The post office clerk says, “Well, OK. It’s five words on a line, $5 per l ...read more
Two men are out for a walk in a forest when they’re confronted by a huge grizzly bear.
“Stay calm,” says Tom t ...read more
A man hates his wife’s cat. He decides to load the cat off next to the road. Getting home, he finds the cat waiting for him on ...read more
A woman walked with her young child to school. When she got there, she heard the teacher whisper to another, “That child looks li ...read more
A police officer stopped at a farm and told the old farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.”
...read more
