I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named “Fireworks and vacuums” so my dog won’t find ...read more

A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm. “Do you make fish cakes? he asked.

“Yes, we do, ...read more

A dog thinks: “The humans offer me food, love and shelter. They must be my gods.”

A cat thinks: “The humans of ...read more

When I told my wife there was a huge spider in the bath, she screamed and said, “Put it outside!”

Now I’ve go ...read more

A dog goes to the post office to send a telegram. The post office clerk says, “Well, OK. It’s five words on a line, $5 per l ...read more

A man hates his wife’s cat. He decides to load the cat off next to the road. Getting home, he finds the cat waiting for him on ...read more

A woman walked with her young child to school. When she got there, she heard the teacher whisper to another, “That child looks li ...read more

A police officer stopped at a farm and told the old farmer, “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs.”
...read more


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