How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.
What’s the oddest thing about belonging to a support group for hypochondriacs? Every member calls in sick, but they all show u ...read more
I’ve been told that when you meet the right person, you know immediately. How come when you meet the wrong person it takes a y ...read more
It’s a ten-minute walk from my house to the pub. Weirdly, it’s a two-hour walk from the pub to my house.
OMG. President Lincoln has been shot! Wait, whoa, my internet connection is SUH-LOW.
I hate people who say that time travel is a stupid idea. It’s exactly that kind of attitude that lost us World War Three.
I’d just like to say to any women out there having trouble keeping their hair out of their eyes: get a grip.
I just poured some superglue into a non-stick frying pan. Someone’s about to be proved wrong.