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Nothing to lose

Nothing to lose
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“Never get into a lane-merging game of chicken with a person who has a garbage bag for a car-door window.” —@MelvinOfYork

Sing your heart out

Sing your heart out
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“If anyone catches me singing in my car, my reaction is to stare at them until it’s awkward for both of us.” —@Rhodes411

Six-figure salary

Six-figure salary
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“How is it that a parking spot gets paid more per hour than I do?” —@markedly

Captive audience

Captive audience
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“The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.” —@armyVet1972

Don’t miss this roundup of the 75 corniest jokes of all time.

Positivity boost

Positivity boost
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“Somebody actually complimented my driving today. They left a little note on the windshield that said ‘parking fine.’” —@aadil

No time for jokes

No time for jokes
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“The irony of being hit by a Dodge.” —@rikpayne

Don’t miss these short jokes anyone can remember.

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Is this the real life?

Is this the real life?
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“When I see someone driving the same car I’m driving, I always peer in to make sure it’s not me from another dimension.” —@yoyoha

Here are the 5 funniest tweets about getting fired.

Brutally honest

Brutally honest
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“Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Because I was driving with my eyes closed?

Officer: What?!

Me: What?” —@3sunzzz

Here are 11 things you do in your car – but shouldn’t.

Know when to quit

Know when to quit
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“How to parallel park:

Step 1. Park somewhere else.” —@XplodingUnicorn

Every mum and dad can relate to these funny parenting tweets.

(Un)happy medium

(Un)happy medium
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“Ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?” —@talesofarealist

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Source: RD.com

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