How to deal with depression: what worked for 16 real-life people

Central to the tragedy of depression is that so many people fail to seek help. About 300 million people worldwide suffer from this mood disorder, and it impacts their relationships, their work, and even puts their life in danger. Ten per cent of all adults in Australians will experience depression at some point in their life, and two-thirds of cases are women, according to the World Health Organization. Yet for all the people who have it, few talk about it and most feel isolated. These 16 people have decided to speak up, revealing how they deal with depression: here are their best tips for weathering this storm.

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Before Alice Roberts discovered running, she says her depression kept her house-bound, in bed, and binge-watching Netflix all day. One day, she forced herself to try a little jog outside. The sunshine, fresh air, and stimulation combined to make a powerful antidepressant. “Once I get out running, I feel so much better, and it’s easier to go the next time,” she says. “Too many days off, and it’s a struggle again.”

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Counting your blessings may sound like trite advice to someone suffering from the suffocating darkness of depression, but sometimes the most effective solutions are simplest, says Natalie Nash. Nash had long struggled with how to deal with depression when she decided to try keeping a 30-day gratitude journal. She thought it might help some; she was surprised to see how much of a difference it made in her mood. The journal, along with medication, helped her break the cycle of isolation and loneliness that she was caught up in. “When I have rough days I try to focus on what is going well and what brings me joy. It also helps me recognise blessings and answers to prayers,” she says.

Used for decades as an anaesthetic, the drug ketamine is being studied as a treatment for severe depression – especially depression that doesn’t respond to other treatments. “Ketamine absolutely changed my life,” says Marshall L, who says his depression was so severe he didn’t leave his house for six years. “I get an infusion every three to four weeks and it feels like that fog has lifted. I have a clarity and a will I never had before.” Now, he can hold down a job, is in a relationship, and is working with a therapist to develop coping skills to prevent future depressive episodes once he stops the treatments.

While many people with depression can’t point to an exact cause of their suffering, some depression is triggered by traumatic life events. Scott Aksamit discovered this for himself after he suffered a major depressive episode after the death of his brother. How to deal with his depression? He decided to try martial arts as a way to get his anger out and was surprised to discover how much it also helped with his mood. The effects went beyond exercise, however. “My coach taught me the power of positive thinking and I was able to use that to reframe how I thought about my life,” he says.

When it comes to depression, medication works, especially when used in conjunction with other treatments like exercise and therapy, according to a study published in The Lancet. It’s not a perfect solution and some people find more relief than others but getting on a prescription anti-depressant was a game-changer for Denise McNeill who says she’s struggled with the mental illness all her life. “I feel fortunate that medication helped me immediately,” she says. “It’s a hereditary condition in my family, so I will be on medication for the rest of my life and I am totally fine with that.”

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One of the primary signs of depression is difficulty doing regular, everyday tasks, like self-care. And not taking care of your physical needs can increase depression, creating a self-reinforcing cycle. Ivie Cosens first noticed this pattern when she left for college and was on her own – without her mum reminding her to take care of herself, things started to slip through the cracks. Now she says she stops this cycle before it can start by making sure that even if she does nothing else that day, she showers and gets dressed in real clothes (no pyjamas or tracksuits!). “Simple things like getting ready for the day and making sure I eat three meals a day help me a lot because it feels like I’ve accomplished something,” she explains. “When I am feeling depressed I go through that self-care checklist and make sure I’m doing everything I can.”

Getting a daily dose of morning sunshine has been proven in multiple research studies to help people deal with depression, especially those who suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in autumn and winter. But while sunshine definitely helped Mary Rogers, the winters just didn’t provide enough light. Then her therapist suggested she use a ‘happy light’ – a large artificial light that mimics the spectrum of light found in natural sunshine – on days she couldn’t get outside. “This has been the key for me, getting outside and using my light every day, along with medication, prayer, music, and playing with my children,” she says.

When his doctors told Dennis Legori he was in remission from cancer, Legori assumed the worst was over. However, his oncologist told him that post-chemo depression is a real thing and more common than people think. Sure enough, his mood started to drop and he decided to take steps to fix it immediately, starting with following a diet of whole foods. “My diet includes a lot of greens, berries, and smoothies and I limit red meat, avoid soda [soft-drinks], and drink plenty of water,” he says. Legori also gets 30 minutes of exercise every day. Now he feels better than he ever has and, he notes, even has fewer grey hairs than before.

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This non-traditional treatment for depression turned out to be exactly what Lindsey Letendre needed when she had a bout of severe depression after the birth of her son. EMDR stands for eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing, and the therapy uses hand-tapping and eye movements to help people process traumatic or painful memories. While Letendre had struggled with depression on and off previously, the postpartum episode was so intense it made her seek out alternatives. “I still struggle with depression but I found EMDR to be the most helpful form of therapy for me,” she explains.