Kids and family are rich veins of humour for comedians on Twitter – both those who have them, and those who fear the very idea. See who you think is funnier:

New Parent Idea: 1. Take pictures of you pulling baby out of spacecraft in forest. 2. Hide pictures in attic for kid to find when he’s 10. – Matt Roller (@rolldiggity)

Accidentally bought my daughter a card that says “You are the only one I have ever loved”. I have twins. – Dan Cronin (@croninwhoecares)

Just congratulated our housekeeper on her son going to “Yale” but it turns out he actually went to “jail”. 🙁 – Stephie C. (@stephanieclient)

I’d like to have a child one day. Two days, tops. – Alex Baze (@bazecraze)

When Facebook friends post about their kids’ sports victories, I always comment “He cheated. I was there. Very disappointed in your family.” – Jeff Lyons (@usedwigs)

For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats. – Rex Huppke (@rexhuppke)

Source: Twitter
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– The Reader’s Digest team